Some Ways To Make Elders Feel Useful

It was just the other day that I was talking to one of my friends; we realized that our otherwise useful and intelligent mothers-in-law were turning senile and thought their lives were useless as no one needed their help and advice. This made us realize we should make our elders feel useful.

A few pointers and ways to make elders feel useful:

• Many elders that have been active all their lives could be prone to these feelings if they live away from their children or even when children living with them are carrying on their own life and find no inclination to ask for their help or advice.

• As we grow into adults, many of us carry a misconception that the world has changed and our elders would not be able to advice us. Believe me this is not always the case as our elders have lived real long and full lives and we could definitely benefit from their advice. Listening patiently to elders about their life and how they tackled it would make them feel that their life is interesting and important and they mean something for you. Also we could definitely benefit from their insights about life.

• Elders would feel very useful if we took help from them in our day-to-day life; they could be engaged in simple jobs like laundering in the washer, cleaning the dishes in the dish-washer, cutting the vegetables and folding the laundry; these small tasks would make them feel that they are useful and contributing something to the household.

• I still remember the tears in my grandma’s eyes when I took her to the kitchen and asked her how she made her favorite recipes; I also asked her for some advice on cooking. Especially elderly women revel in the joy when youngsters ask for their advice about cooking and show interest in learning their favorite recipes; they would not only feel useful, but it would also help us spend quality time with them in improving our cooking skills.

• Some elders feel that their children do not realize the value of what they did for them; there is no better way of making elders feel that they are useful and wanted than writing a special letter to them or talking to them regularly on Skype. It would help to remind them how useful they were to you; writing letters for advice also help. It is best to remember that few people take the opportunity to keep this special touch and still few hear about it.   

Don’t we all think our elders should feel as an integral and important part of our lives; making them feel so would make in a difference in both theirs and our lives.

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