Why Should A Parent Not Be Overprotective

Aruna says, “I will not send my 8-year old son Rahul to school by the school bus, because bus drivers drive rashly.”

Usha says, “I will not allow my 12 year old daughter to sleep over at her friend’s place because I am not sure if her parents will provide adequate supervision.” 

These are the words of 2 overprotective mothers who are responsible for not letting their children to grow up into confident and independent adults. Most children learn from their mistakes and it is wrong to suppress their learning process; parents ought to change their attitude.

Give a thought to these points:

• It is right to protect children that are young, feeble, tiny and fragile, but it is wrong for parents to assume that they need to protect their children for life. As children grow up it lies on parents to develop such an attitude that they need to romp, run, jump, and explore and they need to accept the scratches, cuts, bruises and broken limbs as a part of childhood; this lies in the interest of the child.

• Being a cautious parent is one thing, but it is another when the parent is overprotective and wants to be cautious and vigilant over every move of their child. They constantly believe something will go wrong and hover over their children constantly giving instructions. They rule out any activity that has the remotest possibility of ending in an accident; these parents that have inappropriate fears are harmful to the child’s interests.

• A parent’s over protectiveness could have an adverse effect on the child’s self-esteem and confidence; a parent’s fear sends a message to the child that he/she is incapable of handling things on his/her own. This only makes the child more dependent on parents and inhibits his/her attempts to learn things.

• Again the fears of the parent are infectious and get transferred to the child, making him/her perceive danger in every new activity and experience; this makes the child have more falls, tumbles and injuries than otherwise when the child takes the initiative. It is advisable for parents to warn their children about risky activities in advance rather than when he/she is engaged in activity to avoid greater possibilities of accident.

• It is best for parents to understand overprotecting one’s child only denies a child of a sense of achievement when they accomplish something.

• Parental over protectiveness in case of older children are perceived by children as stemming from their parent’s lack of trust that they are responsible and sensible. This makes older children to react to their parent’s excessive fear by compliance or resistance. If parents voice their fears in terms of doubts, it can result in the children giving up the idea or activity altogether because they too begin to doubt their capability. On the other hand, children can react with defiance.

• Over protective parents lack credibility in their children's eyes because they seem to have an extreme view that the world in general is a dangerous place. Such children feel denied of normal pursuits that their peers make because of the unfounded and baseless fears of their parents. Such children react with resistance because they believe that their parents perceive them as being accident-prone and having poor judgment.

Don’t you now think as a parent it is best to be cautious, but not over protective?