Ways To Teach Honesty To A Child
Even young kids are well equipped to handle the difference between truth and falsehood, but some may be scared of telling the truth more out of the fear for punishment or being afraid of disappointing parents. They could also tell lies out of forgetfulness and wishful thinking. It lies on us as parents to create an environment where your child feels safe telling the truth.
How to teach a child all about honesty:
a) Avoid labeling your young child a liar; this will only make him/her go on the defensive or live unto this label. Assure the child that you do not appreciate lies and that you will continue to love him/her unconditionally. Saying gently but firmly, “That doesn't sound like the truth to me. Sometimes we all worry about telling the truth if we're afraid we've done something wrong" helps convey the message that you do not approve of his/her behavior and also gives a chance for him/her to explain one’s behavior.
b) Never ask questions to answers you already know as it sets the stage for lies; if you are sure your child has not cleaned up his/her room, it would be best to say, “I see that you didn't clean up your room," or, "Please show me your tidy room." This would invite the responsibility of the child to do the chore. Again it helps to reassure the child that he/she will not be in trouble for telling the truth.
c) It helps to find out why the child is telling lies; if the child is fibbing to win a game it would help to discuss ways in which he/she could improve one’s game and win the fair way.
d) When your child tells the truth, praise him/her especially if one has been telling lies in the past. This would make him/her feel great and the child would start speaking the truth.
e) It is also necessary to instill the habit in children to be not too honest, so as to hurt other’s feelings; they need to be positive in their comments like avoiding commenting on a dumb gift someone gave and praising him/her for remembering the occasion.
f) Teach your kindergartner that lying doesn't work by voicing your opinion and suggesting that his/her behavior can be made up; tell a child that vigorously denies knocking the vase by a ball that though he/she wished had not broken the vase, one could help clean up or glue the vase back.
g) Keep your cool, as punishing the child out of anger would only make him/her defensive or afraid and totally out of the learning mode. Being rational and teaching the child the right thing helps.
h) Set a good example by being honest yourself as even a kindergartener can judge when a parent is lying. When you call in sick at work and are enjoying yourself at home or lie about her age in an amusement park you need to realize that honesty has a price and its worth paying it now.
Have you been successful in teaching your child honesty?
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