Ways To Help Elderly Parent Deal With Grief Of Spouses Death

Death is inevitable, but when one actually deals with it, it could make one’s life turn tipsy turvy; most grieving persons cannot function very efficiently. This applies all the more to losing one’s aged spouse who has lived with you for a long time.

Some signs of grief and their solution are:

• Forgetfulness is one of the important signs of your parent’s grief; your otherwise sharp parent may miss on appointments, misplace car keys and mail unsigned checks for bills. Your parent requires some time to get over ones grief; just be patient and remind her/him that these were symptoms of grief and suggest that they write reminders.


• During the early days of bereavement your parent may have difficulty in concentration; your aged parent may find difficulty in reading the newspaper or a book or watching a TV show. He/she may be susceptible to unexpected crying spells and find it difficult to drive or use equipments like a lawn mower or garbage dispenser. You could read out the newspaper loudly to him/her, highlighting important points and also advice the parent to not drive or handle equipment.


• Grief and morning brings with it lack of interest and motivation; a helpful child could with one’s love and support allow one’s parent to express one’s feelings. If the grieving parent is hurting himself/herself in any way physically, mentally and emotionally the help of a physician can be sought.

• Grief over a spouse can be physically exhausting and make one sick; If necessary you could take a doctor’s help to monitor the parent’s condition. You should make sure the parent has regular and nourishing meals and snacks; this should be combined with doing some regular exercise. Accompany him/her for a walk in the neighborhood or arrange for some friend of neighbor to give him/her company.


• The loss of a spouse could cause problems of sleeping; suggest to your grieving parent that he/she develop a regular sleeping time and calm sleeping routine. Meditation and sleep therapy could help get quality sleep; if the sleep problem persists a doctor should be consulted.


• The grief of losing one’s spouse brings problems of disorganization like taking longer to complete everyday tasks or skipping from one task to another without completion. This stems from isolation and loneliness; you could help him/her plan a schedule or offer to help. Spending some quality time together would not only bring you both closer but also help him/her.


• It is quite normal for a grieving parent to snap at you and others and create major arguments for minor issues. Just be understanding and patient as he/she may be angry about the death of one’s spouse. If the parent is receptive, suggest that one joins support groups of those that have lost their spouse or take them to temples and other places where they could meet people like them.

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