Ways To Deal With Separation Anxiety In Your Child

I was concerned when I heard from my friend’s daughter that her son yelled and screamed each day she left him at the daycare; her maternal instincts took over the fact that her child had to slowly accept and grow out of the anxiety of separation. This made me share some of the experiences I had with my children and to give tips.

Deal with separation anxiety in the following ways: 

a) Realize that it is quite normal for most kids to suffer from separation anxiety because the child views the mother as everything; her source of food, authority, reassurance, affection, love, warmth and safety and he/she fears that you may go away for good.

b) It would be advisable to tell the child what will happen many times before heading out or the sitter arrives. Be a smart parent and tell him/her all the fun things they would do at the daycare or the sitter. Use a positive tone by assuring him/her that you will be back soon. Make the child feel secure by giving him comfort objects like a favorite blanket, stuffed animal, doll, or a piece of your clothes that smells like you.

c) Next your child would feel more comfortable and secure if you interact for some time with the caregiver before you leave; this would reassure the child that the caregiver is desirable. Never bribe the child with sweets and candies because it could become a habit and would lead to tooth caries and other health problems. Before you leave get the child interested in a game, activity or toy.

d) It is your responsibility as a parent to be supportive and calm to reassure him/her that you are always for the child.

e) If it is difficult for your child to say good bye, just be calm, firm and loving. Try to not get exasperated and just have a plan and stick to it. Do not prolong the separation and allow the caregiver to take over gently and lovingly if the child is inconsolable and throws a tantrum. Subsequently just call after 10 to 20 minutes to make sure the child is fine.

f) In case you have to leave your child for a longer period in someone’s care, just call and reassure him/her that you will be back soon. Talk interesting things with the child about how his/her day was and quoting funny anecdotes would help divert the child’s mind from the anxiety of separation.

g) You could also keep various materials like some paints, coloring books, a kids' DVD/TV programs that the child can engage in throughout the day; it would not only be fun, but would also distract the child from the fact that you are not there.

h) Greet your child when you come back with kisses, hugs and praise them for being a good boy/girl. Also spend some quality time with the child to reassure him/her that you are always for him/her and will return to them.

In case the anxiety still persists for long, seek the help of a child counselor or pediatrician.

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