Ways A Mother Can Emotionally Recover After A Stillbirth

Delivering a still-born baby can be an emotionally traumatic experience for parents, especially mothers who have bonded the baby in her womb.  There are many aspects to the emotional recovery from this kind of loss.

Some important aspects to recover emotionally from stillbirth:

• Pregnancy is a time of hope and mothers have bonded with the baby even without seeing his/her face, Many mothers feel that their grieving before others could make them uncomfortable; quite to the contrary mothers have every right to grieve the their unique and personal loss.

• Never feel guilty as a mother that you could have probably done things differently; delivering a still born is no one’s fault.  You may feel more at ease getting answers to your questions from doctors that would put your mind at ease and prepare you for the future.

• Stillbirth causes grief not only to the mother, but also to the father; however men and women tend to show their grief in a different way. The key to finding your way through this loss together lies in patience, listening and respecting each other’s grieving styles.

• Your grief as a mother could be overwhelming and consuming, with your not knowing initially how you feel. While some may find it soothing to share their feelings with someone, others may figure out more solitary activities like journaling, creating a memorial garden, scrapbook or any other creative activity.

• Some mothers of stillborn may find it soothing to make memorials at the hospital; they may prefer to see and hold the baby, considering other things like bathing and dressing the baby, getting professional photographs taken and inviting friends and family to visit them.

• It may be very difficult emotionally to go home with a feeling of loss and having to face the baby things kept ready at home. You as a mother should respect your instincts and speak out your mind; you could either ask some of your trusted family members or friends to go remove the baby items or ask them to not do it. This would avoid misinterpretations.

• It is equally important that you look after your physical health; you are recovering from the physical and hormonal changes of pregnancy. So ensure that you eat healthy, drink a lot of fluids, and take a lot of rest; once you are physically healthy, you can focus on your emotional health.

• Lastly be aware that it is normal to have sadness and tears with the loss of the baby; take your own time to get over your grief, being aware of the thin line that separates post-partum depression and other mental health changes. If your sadness becomes more serious like clinical depression or anxiety, don't hesitate to seek professional help.  

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