Tips To Prepare Your Elder Child For The New Arrival

Last week I went to see the newborn of my niece; seeing her second child made me think of how parents should prepare their elder child for the new arrival. Here are some tips to prepare the elder child for the new arrival.

Tips to prepare your toddler for the new arrival:

1) Get your elder child involved in decisions for new equipment and decorating the nursery as a preparation for the new arrival. However be careful to not make him/her feel that the central focus of the family is shifting; you could probably allow her/him to choose something like toothpaste or a pair of socks that she/he needs to make her/him feel good.   

2) Parents should make an effort to least disrupt the older child’s life; to make him/her feel secure and confident it is essential that he/she continues to be the focus of the family. Maintaining his/her routine of playgroups or visits to the library, toddler gym or music classes and making changes very important to her/him either much before or well after the new baby arrives would make him/her feel more secure and confident making for easier transition.

3) Pregnancies is also a time when you cannot do certain activities like running, playing rough and tumble games and ball in the sitting room or bedroom; replace them with less vigorous and enjoyable activities that you could do together. Then the older child will feel less threatened for fun by the newborn.

4) You may want to move the elder child to a new bedroom; ensure smooth transition without a feeling of guilt by making the bedroom an exciting place with a fresh coat of paint and putting/painting pictures. It need not be expensive, but should be done a few months earlier to enable easy adjustment before the new born arrives.

5) Many elder children experience feelings that their life has turned upside down with the arrival of the newborn; it would help to get your spouse involved in doing something special with elder child. This would make him/her look forward to such times with daddy after the new arrival. 

6) If your older child is old enough to dress her/him, encourage him/her to do so even before the new baby arrives; most 3 year olds can dress and undress though they may require some help with buttons and poppers. This would give the child something to do in the morning and evening routine and when you are breastfeeding the baby or otherwise occupied.

7) Start any new childcare arrangements like a nanny, grandmother’s help or a nursery a few months before you give birth to a baby; it would give the older child enough time to get used to the arrangement without feeling he/she is shunted about and would also give you precious time to yourself during the final months.

8) Encourage the elder child to do some new activities on their own; play dough, drawing, doing jigsaws and playing with dolls are activities he/she could occupy oneself for short spells while you are looking after the baby. Dolls with their accessories help the elder child imitate you as you care for the new born.

To conclude it is very necessary for the parents to make sure the elder child is not neglected in their excitement over the new arrival; he/she needs the extra reassurance that he/she is special and loved.