Tips to find some alone time on Valentine's Day

The humdrum of the daily chores leaves couples with no alone time that would remind them of how they got together and wanted to spend their lives together. True a couple are not just roommates but something more intimate, so it is essential to stay physically intimate and connected even if you have to do it in tiny increments or unusual ways.

Some tips to spice up your relationship this Valentine Day:

• Alone time could be something as simple as dancing arm-in-arm to piped-in '60s music in the grocery store, to the delighted giggles or embarrassed groans of your kids. Do not postpone connecting to each other; just find small opportunities. Just remember how you felt with your first kiss and now do it even if it is for just a few minutes in the middle of your responsibilities.

• Another way to find some alone time on Valentine’s Day when your children are young is to hire a babysitter and ask your regular nanny to come back in the night; you could also request family and friends who would watch your child/children at your/their home. It would be time well spent with each other even if spent blissfully sleeping in each other's arms.

• Though spontaneity is great, it would be great to schedule and plan some time together, so you could prepare for it and look forward to. Date nights always ended in time spent alone with one’s spouse that helped carve out some time for the relationship; so make sure you mark Valentine Day and other date days in your calendar.

• Be creative in finding those opportunities to be together with your spouse; spend time outdoors in the backyard when your kids are popped in front of the TV or splash around for a few minutes in the pool. You can watch them by being very, very quiet.

• Close the door of your room every so often if you cannot get away from home. Sometimes, you simply have to have some alone time and let the children know that they can barge in only in an emergency. It would be great to have a candlelit bubble bath for two and also throw in little champagne.

• Put yourself in the mood by wearing sexy undergarments; wear red lace rather than in graying and old granny panties. This would help you feel like a woman who is ready for anything, not just a mum; being ready makes it easier to jump on opportunity.

• Spend time re-learning each other's bodies; do not be in haste but take your own time as if it is the first time. Though you are same in many ways your body has changed since you became parents.

• This Valentine Day rethink your idea of intimacy and sex; there are many activities that give us physical pleasure and orgasm beyond just intercourse. Book a babysitter for the kids and a hotel room for yourselves, even if it's for an evening instead of an overnight stay.  Explore your fantasies and try new things with each other. Before the Day send each other little love notes describing delicious, unusual, never-done-before things you'd love to try that don't include intercourse.  Include tender, non-sexual activities, as well as sexual ones.

• Don't be angry with unspoken resentments; if you have something to say to each other, say it, get it out of the way and move on to more important things. Follow an old piece of marriage advice to not go to bed angry.

• Start on Valentine Day to thank each other and be kind everyday; affection is shown through the way we do and say things. Thank your husband if he does the dishes; these little things are building blocks to more intimate physical forms.

 

Valentine Day is not the only day for love with your spouse; believe you are one half of a strong and emotional partnership that needs constant working on. Connecting with your partner is not only good for both of you, but also for your kids, who will learn all about healthy relationships. So do find time to be alone with your spouse.