Parenting mistakes to avoid!

All parents wish to bring up kids that thrive, are independent and future leaders; this is not achieved by wisdom and the love of the world alone, but by avoiding the 7 crippling parenting mistakes that keep children from becoming leaders of their own life and of the world’s enterprise.  

Some crippling mistakes for parents to avoid:

a) Parents do not allow our children to experience risk; we protect our children scared of losing them. Insulating them from healthy risk-taking is unhealthy as kids that have not faced a fall at least once tend to become adults full of phobia. A teenager that has a break-up with a girl-friend or boy-friend learns to appreciate the emotional maturity of relationships, with kids that are insulated from risks turning out to be adults with high arrogance and low self-esteem.

b) Some parents develop a habit to swoop or take over the problems of their kids; rescuing or overindulging a kid with assistance in all hardships and problems makes them unable to do anything without help and turns them into incompetent adults.  

c) Parents need to avoid the mistake of raving too easily about their kids; parents raving and disregard of poor behavior turns kids into adults that exaggerate, lie and cheat and to avoid the difficult reality that they find difficult to face.

d) Responsible parents need to allow our healthy teenagers to spread their wings and also need to share with them the relevant mistakes that they made in the past; this will enable them to make the right choices. Parents need to prepare kids to encounter slip-ins and face the consequences of their actions; being the best influence among the various influences also means sharing the lessons you learnt when faced with similar experiences.

e) Parents sometimes allow guilt to get in the way of leading well; understand that your kid will soon get over the disappointment of being refused something rather than the effects of being spoilt. Reward a child for his/her good doing with praise or reward to enforce the point that success is dependent upon our own actions and good deeds. However do not base your reward on material things as it would fail to make your child experience either intrinsic motivation or unconditional love.

f) Parents need to avoid the mistake of assuming intelligence, giftedness and influence for maturity; an intelligent child is not necessarily ready to take up the world, the best guide being if your child is as independent as children of his/her age. If you notice that they are doing more themselves than your child does, you may be delaying your child’s independence.

g) Parents need to avoid the mistake of not practicing what they preach; kids need to learn to be dependable and accountable for their words and actions and speak honestly. Be an example in the ethical choices you make and encourage your kids to give selflessly and joyfully by volunteering for a service project or with a community group, so as to leave the world as a better place.

Lastly here’s to making a positive start: 

• Talk over issues about adulthood to prepare your child for it; remember to discuss the future consequences if they do not master certain skills.

• Teach children that life is all about making choices and living with its consequences.

• Encourage kids to not fear failure and to attempt things that stretch them.

• Initiate or simulate your growing kids to do adult tasks like paying bills or making business deals.

• Kids need to be taught to match their strengths to real-life problems.

• Teach them delayed gratification by furnishing them with projects that require patience.

• Ensure that you introduce them to mentors who could guide them.

• Help your kids to envision a fulfilling future and the steps to attain it.

• You also have the responsibility to celebrate their success towards autonomy and responsibility.

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