Importance of Childhood friendships and how to help promote it

An important responsibility of parenting lies in understanding the importance of childhood friendships and how to make them good and fruitful. I will today try to consider various aspects of childhood friendships and how parents should handle it.

The time when childhood friendships start:

Most close intimate friendships develop when the child is 5 or 6 years old, though there could be exceptions of young toddlers developing intense friendships. The age at which childhood friendships develop depends on the personality of the toddler/child.   

It is found that outgoing and confident children make friends very easily, while shy ones don’t; most children enter great friendships around the 7th or 8th year because children are then more individualistic and sophisticated; friendships however brings with it its own share of difficulties and anxieties.

The importance of friendships:

 
An extremely important part of growing up is friendships; friendships at the age of 5 or 6 give children the delight of creating and developing a magical world of make-belief where the 2 children exist quite happily in the imaginary world as if it is real and talk about characters, plots and actions.

Children need other children to create these fantastic worlds and we could not get absorbed and substitute as a friend of the same age as adults can never share the same sort of relationship with the child as a friend or companion of the same age.

Imaginary play teaches children to interact with one another and understand others as they talk together in detail about their fantasy, listen to their friends and consider their suggestions. This friendship or companionship influences their later social behavior. Even toddlers engage in imaginary play pretending to be at a super-market or tea-party even before he/she can explain the play in language.

How to help your child who doesn’t make friends easily:

Parents want their children to be popular in their playgroup or school as friendships not only increase their self-confidence, but also offers them enjoyment. When children are unhappy or lonely in school parents try their best to quickly resolve the issue; this would only create tension at home also.

You, as a parent could help your introverted child at pre-school to make friends by inviting friends from the nursery or school to come over and play; with a small play group of 1 or 2 other children, you could avoid your child taking a backseat when faced with noisier children.

It is very important for you as a parent to be very patient and supportive of the child and not rush or pressurize him/her into making friends. Making developing childhood friendships a big issue would only increase the child’s anxiety and compound the problem further.

Unsuitable friendships are to be discouraged:

It is equally important for parents to discourage unsuitable friendships that encourage him/her to bad or unsocial behavior. Your concern that a particular child is not having a positive effect on your child should make you promptly to avoid such situations as far as possible.

Parents also need to curb the antisocial behavior like aggressiveness in their children; they need to find out the triggers that could be stresses and strains at school or home. Try to be caring and supportive of your child, along with teaching him/her what is and what acceptable behavior isn’t. Once you indentify the triggers, limit or avoid such situations or environments.

Lastly it is futile to feel guilty and blame oneself for your child’s inability or reluctance to make friends. Just understand that we all have to live with what life throws to us with some common sense and good sense of humor that would see us even through the worst of parenting.

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