How To Stay Sane Caring For An Elderly Parent

Our parents have looked after us and now it is time that we looked after them in their old age; with the table side now changed we have to follow certain tips to look after them and stay sane.

You can stay sane caring for an elderly parent by:

o It is first important to realize that things have changed and old roles, emotions and methodologies do not apply; it is right to write a new script about how you will care for your parent.

o There is no use in rushing things; taking care of an elderly person is a marathon, not a sprint. Let whatever happen reveal itself to you organically; you just have to follow it.

o When you start looking after your parent it is quite possible that they may express anger triggered out of loss of authority they had on you. It is not going to be easy on them also and they are sure to lash out about that loss.

o It is best to not expect anything emotionally, though some parents do open up emotionally and spiritually and express love that they have not done before. Consider yourself fortunate if your parent bonds with you, but do not hope or expect it. It is best to have no expectation and be surprised than have hopes that are dashed.

o One significant feature that I would suggest to remain sane looking after an elderly parent is to give them autonomy and the feeling that they are running their lives. Let them decide everything they can about their own care and situation.

o Ask for their advice for something going on in your life; this will show them that you still care, respect and consider them valuable.  

o Love the health care providers of your elderly parent, whether it is the cleaning person, social worker, physical therapist, nurse, doctor, or caring neighbor; this will instill good and positive thoughts in caring for your elderly parent. You can be kind to them and give little gifts that go a long way towards ensuring to them that they matter a lot in the care and attention.

o Learn to distinguish the elderly parent’s emotional dysfunction from his/her cognitive dysfunction; you could easily deal with your parent’s emotional dysfunction, but would need to discuss about the cognitive dysfunction with your parent’s health care providers as it requires a completely different approach.  

o Depend upon your spouse to be instrumental in your parent’s care; your parent may be more comfortable with your spouse because your parent does not share with your spouse as much baggage as you as they have never been a dominate force in his life; they both are peers with each other as your parent can never be with you.

o Take care of yourself by learning to relax, take walks, eating right and spending quality time away from them. Your life still needs to be about you, so make time to rejuvenate yourself as important as looking after the elderly parent.  

These are some of the ways in which you can stay sane looking after an elderly parent.