Helping your kid socialize

Parents are the first teachers of how kids should socialize; most kids consider their parents as a favorite person and their first playmate. They delight at the sight, touch and voice of their parents, with the parents teaching them how to interact familiarly and enjoy the company of others. So parents are the first step in the development of social skills.

It would be best to understand how babies develop social skills:

The moment a baby is born, he/she responds to everyone, though his/her first year interactions is mostly with you as one focuses on developing skills like  grabbing, pickling up things, and walking.

Your baby picks language skills much before he/she starts babbling; this is done when you read and speak to him/her.  Around the age of 2, he/she starts playing side by side with other children and develops social skills through trial and error.

At first most babies are not able to share their toys with others; however soon he/she learns to be a better playmate by empathizing with others. The age of 3 is the right age when your baby starts making friends.

Stages of development of social skills:

Human are social by nature; your baby will love to be touched, held, talked to, cooed and smiled at. Your baby at one month begins to  experiment making faces at you, mimicking your gestures; he/she will also stick out one’s tongue if you do so.

   
During the same time he/she will love to listen to and learn sounds made by you; eye contact could help here. Your baby will start crying, cooing and babbling- all necessary steps to language development.

Your baby becomes most observant at 3 months and would thrill you by his/her first genuine smile. He/she would soon gain the expertise of sending smiles your way and gurgling at the same time.

When your baby is 4 months, he/she becomes open to new people and may also squeal or greet them with glee. But your baby feels bonded and no one can replace his/her dad or mum. Encourage the babbling of your baby by talking to him/her even when you are doing simple chores or activities around the house.

At 7 months your baby can play with his/her own set of toys when put near another baby, but he/she has not picked up the skill to play with other babies. He/she may though show a fleeting interest in other babies with the only interactions being to grab, glance, smile, coo or imitate the other’s sounds. Your baby may prefer family members to outsiders and may soon be afraid of unfamiliar people or suffer from stranger anxiety.

Your baby of 1 year may cry or get anxious when you leave his/her side or leave him/her with someone else; many babies also undergo separation anxiety that reaches its peak between the ages of 10 to 18 months. You will find that your baby is calm in your presence and distressed when you are not around.

Your toddler between 13 to 23 months shows a lot of interest about what is happening around him/her; as he/she learns to talk and communicate he/she will also make friends with others, especially with kids of his/her age or older. Your toddler at this stage is very protective of his toys and shows the least inclination to share.

It is also between these ages that your toddler spends time watching his/her friends and imitating them. He/she shows strong signs of being independent by throwing a tantrum when you ask him to not do something or not holding your hand while walking on the street.
You will observe that your baby between 2 to 3 years is very self-centered and also assumes others think the same way. There is no cause to worry as soon he/she will learn to share, take turns and may also end up making 2 or 3 good friends.

As your child grows older, he/she will start enjoying other people, especially children of their age. He/she will soon learn about interaction in social situations and to enjoy playing with his/her playmates. You will also find that your child soon learns how to empathize with other children, the fun with playmates and how to develop true lasting friendships.

How you can help your kid to socialize:

a) Spend quality time with your baby during the first few months; this will not only make him/her enjoy your attention, but he/she will also enjoy making faces with you.

b) Let your toddlers enjoy all the fuss and attention by visitors young and old; invite friends and relatives over.

c) Your child may develop stranger anxiety around 7 months of age; do not get embarrassed or upset.

 
d) Some babies cry when they are in a relative’s arm; begin the slow desensitization process by first keeping him/her in your arms while the other person is around and then have the individual talk and play with your child while you hold him. Next you could hand over your baby to the person for a short time and stay close; this could be followed by leaving the room for a short period. If this does not work try to do it sometime later.

e) You could also help your baby get over stranger anxiety by going in and out of the room; this would make your baby feel though you may go out you will soon come back.

f) Arrange for regular play dates with other kids; ensure you have a lot of toys because most kids would not be up to sharing it with one another. You could also sign your kid up for playgroups or classes that gives him/her a chanced to mix with other kids and learn how to make friends.

 
g) You could set a good example for your self-centered 2 or 3 year old kid by using words like, ‘please’ and ‘sorry’ and complimenting for a job well done. Share your magazine or dessert.

Causes for concern:

There is a cause for concern if your baby does not interact with anyone, except you and your spouse; if he/she doesn’t show interest in also interacting with you, consult a doctor.

There is a cause of concern if your toddler of 1 to 3 ages is unfriendly and always bites, pushes or beats other children over toys. Such behavior arises out of fears or insecurities and need to be addressed by a doctor.

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