Getting your kid to apologize and teaching them to mean it!

Kids can get temperamental or even outright angry – it is a part of growing up. Any parent would want their kid to grow up with empathy and be a nice person to others and for that teaching you kid to apologize after losing his/her cool is the primary step. Next comes the concept of explaining why the action is wrong or what is the better alternative response for the same situation.

Getting an apology from a kid is easy; you can even force one out. But making your kid understand the situation and evolve as a better human is the tricky part. You kid should mean the apology and this is how you make it happen:

Let it cool

In most cases of outburst or conflicts with other kids, it is best not to force out an apology from the kid in the heat of the moment. Anything done at that moment is not going to make an impact and would only make things worse for you as a parent.

“Apologize right now!” might earn you brownie points from people around you but never earns you the love or respect from your kid. Let the moment pass, but make sure you are in control of the event. Pull out your kid from the conflict without scolding and then make them realize their mistake and sway them into an apology.

Be an example

Kids look up to elders for example. So when the next time someone visibly irritates you in front of your child, make sure you take a breather instead of acting out. Else, no matter how many apologies you get from your kid, they will always have your example at the back of their head.

Put them in the victim’s shoes

If you child has been the aggressor in a conflict, make sure you talk out an example where you make your child imagine being in their position. This will bring out empathy. Try not to point out how bad their action was but rather bring it out from the child themselves. This way, actions might not be repeated the next time. A better way to say sorry is to not repeat the mistake!

Listen to the entire story

Your kid might not be at fault every time. It could be the other person or even you at fault. Make sure you see both ends and listen to what the kid has to say. Most made up stories by kids can be found out easily by adults (obvious with so much experience!) so react against you kid only if they seem to be making things up, else be a support to your kid and make them feel important.