7 Parenting Behaviors That Stop Children From Becoming Leaders

Last week I attended a workshop on parenting; it enlightened me on various parenting behaviors that cripple children that have the potential from gaining independence, thriving and becoming a leaders. 

Parenting behaviors that cripple children from becoming leaders:

1) The first faulty parenting behavior is that we do not allow our children to experience healthy risk and do everything to protect them; such children grow up into adults that frequently experience phobias. Psychologists are of the opinion that abstaining from experiencing healthy risks or falls cripples children from enjoying emotional maturity that is required for lasting relationships. Such children grow up into leaders that are highly arrogant with a low self –esteem.  

2) Parents cripple children by their faulty behavior of rescuing their children too quickly and solving their problems for them; when we remove the need for our children to overcome hardships, our children get used to things being smoothened for them. This attitude is not at all even remotely connected to how the world is and works, with this behavior crippling our children from being competent adults.  

3) Avoid the parenting behavior of not sharing past mistakes and experiences; this applies especially to teenagers wanting to go out into the world to do things on their own. Sharing our teenage and childhood experiences with our children would help make the best influence on them and help them navigate through troubled waters; our children would be best equipped to make positive decisions.

4) The parent’s behavior of raving that their children are always successful could be futile; children would realize that their parents only think they are awesome, while others do not. When we as parents rave too much of our children and disregard their poor behavior, our children eventually learn to cheat, exaggerate and lie and to avoid difficult reality that they have not been conditioned to face.

5) The next parenting behavior that cripples children to become leaders is not practicing what we preach; we can help our children lead a dependable, accountable life of character by modeling this life to our children. We need to watch out for ethical choices that our children will notice; we could be the best models to teach our children selfishness and how to joyfully volunteer for service projects or with a community group.  

6) Parents need to realize that children will get over disappointment, but never over the effects of being spoiled. We need not feel sorry for not giving them something they ask, if we cannot afford it or they do not deserve it. It is futile to think it is unreasonable to reward or praise a child that does well, because we would then not be able to instill the value of putting in effort and doing good deeds. However do realize that our relationship with our children is not based on material rewards; children will then not realize the value of intrinsic motivation and unconditional love.   

7) The last parenting behavior that cripples our children from becoming leaders is that we mistake intelligence, giftedness and influence for maturity. Just because a child is intelligent, it does not mean he/she is ready to take on the world. Again it does not mean that if a child is gifted in one area, he/she is gifted in all areas. The best guide to when a child should be given certain freedoms or responsibilities lies in noticing other children of their same age and then giving suitable responsibility as other children.

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