7 Common Disciplinary Mistakes To Avoid

Parents love discipline in their children, but our attempts to discipline them by shouting and threatening only leads to more frustration and future mistakes. Disciplining children is a combination of paying attention to a child’s behavior and our putting a check on our behavior; most children imitate their parents in their behavior. Here are some mistakes that parents commit in disciplining children and how to avoid them.

7 disciplinary mistakes parents make: 

1) Avoid the tendency to use too much of “No” and “Don’t” in your conversation; this only lowers their value and makes the children view the world as negative. Children develop an attitude that they have to be aggressive to get anything they want in the world. Instead tell them what they have to do; as parents we need to strike a balance between the times we say “No” and “Yes” to the child.  

2) Avoid the tendency to give warnings with vague consequences; it is futile to give vague warnings like, “I’m very serious this time”, or “You have had it, if you don’t listen to me!” when you want your child to stop watching the TV, instead spelling out the clear consequences of the misbehavior like, “I will unplug the TV for a week” or “No chocolate for a month”, would help. This would help the child know what is expected of him/her in a positive and clear tone. 

3) While parenting in public it would be futile to simply order a child to be quiet or talk softly in a restaurant; it would instead help to tell him/her that it is best to talk in a soft tone as it would disturb other people in the restaurant. Parents need to understand that it takes time and patience for children to understand how to behave in different situations.

4) Parents need to understand that discipline should be meted out depending on the child’s nature and what works for one may not work for another; a child who is understanding by nature may just require a verbal reminder, while one that is aggressive may need her/his TV rights to be revoked to understand. This does not mean that you have to be strict with one and lenient with the other; it only means that the punishment should fit in to the level of misbehavior and the child’s nature.

5) Though time-outs are proven methods to make a child understand what is acceptable behavior is acceptable, parents need to understand that they need to be particular and insistent upon the point to ensure that the children do not just misconstrue time-outs for just punishments. Children should be encouraged to think why one’s behavior is wrong or unacceptable.

6) Sometimes parents behave in a manner that they would never want their children to behave; the next time your shout or yell because something does not go your way, pause and apologize to them to make them aware you know you made a mistake. Most children definitely notice how their parents behave; make sure you pay attention to your behavior as a parent, next time your child acts out.

7) Never as a parent try to discipline your kids by shouting when you are yourself frustrated or tired; just be calm and explain to them that you are tired and need some peace, so they should play quietly with their toys or games instead of being loud and running about. This will not only give you the peace and quiet that you need, but the children will also learn to respect your moods.  

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