6 Things To Say To Your Bullied Child

Most parents’ immediate reaction to bullying of their child could be getting emotional, but it is wrong as this would make it very difficult for the child to move beyond it. I as a parent have realized that it is our duty to offer comfort and support to the child as this would encourage the child to be open about the bullying and this would help avoid future incidents. Emphatic listening without interrupting or criticizing would go a long way to help the child.

Here are 6 things you could tell your child

1.      “It took courage to tell me”; most bullied children would keep quiet for fear that the bully may know, they may have to fight back or that an adult would not respond properly. Praising the child and acknowledging how difficult it is for the child to talk the bully makes the child feel he is brave; this is the best thing to do to avoid future bullying incidents.

2.      “This is not your fault”; this statement would make the child feel comfortable that he/she is did not warrant the bullying. It also removes the feeling of shame, embarrassment and guilt in the child and assures the child that the responsibility of the bullying lay with the bully and a solution would be easily figured out.

3.      “How do you want to handle it?” This is a very important question that shows your child that you respect and trust his/her decisions; it also uplifts your child from the position of being a victim to one of strength. Smart parents do not take over and fix things for their children, but help them explore various options to deal with the situation and support them.

4.      “I will help you.” This is the next important thing to say to your bullied child; this would assure your child that you too will take action without delay by contacting the school officials, especially when your child has been threatened or physically harmed. Most types of bullying have their own consequences and it is best it is nipped in the bud.

5.      “Let’s brainstorm how to keep this from happening again.” It is best for the parent to brainstorm so such bullying incidents are avoided in future; apart from practical advice about how your child can feel secure by being with a friend or buddy, it would be best to explore the bullying hot points in school. In addition to avoiding these points it would be best to get your child involved in outdoor activities that could improve his/her self esteem. Emphatic and careful listening would help her come out with various ideas that could also surprise you. 

6.      “Who’s got your back?” This is a very valuable question because it is found that most bullying have been prevented by friendships. If she/he does not have good friends it would help to encourage your child to make friends; also ask your child to identify a trusted adult in school who could help.